Fix this fix

I find that everytime I have a wrench in my hand one of five things happens:

1. I fix the shit out of some piece of epically complicated machinery 

2.  I finally learn the true meaning behind the phrase 'kill a skunk, eat some string cheese, and never again be required to clean a Scandinavians boat shed' 

3. I think 'hmmm, what's a wrench'

4. I'm finally in the mood to explain number 2 (please note I am not currently holding a wrench, so you're shit out of luck)

5. I think 'you know what, if I was a real man I could totally kill a cockroach with this'

Lessons: 

- wrenches are fun 

- if I was in a video game that'd be totally cool

- If missionaries have sex missionary style, how do nuns do it?     

- what's a wrench? 

Here's a joke for you

 Q- what do you call a shark that's gotten lost and then been saved by you, yet is now epically taking up your tub space AND table salt supplies, while also being a surprisingly good friend?

A- whatever it's name is!

Zing!

Don't disrespect me please

But cute

Finding yes

Romantic seizures of solitude

Chewing the wood out of the walls

To unearth a deep new scar

Straining to explode the everything

Enhance and enthrall in everything

Disembowel and butcher the everything

Into an audacious curiosity

Licking the shards of the broken glass

To expose a new strength

Steaming notions of power

Unheralded scandalous power

Lurking engulfing penetrating power

Or at least the opportunity

To gnaw it all out

Natures Coffee

Nepotism and Mistakes

Who was that who invented defiance
With puke behind the couch
The stickiness is sobering
Sickening familiarity
I was trialled with normality
Yet battled through
Cancerous cancerous cancerous
Glistening in the dawn alien attack
I need to crave this craziness
In all it's naughty failed optimism
Sublime in my ineptitude
This attitude all mine right now
Nepotism and mistakes
All the things I'm addicted to
Finally finally finally
I'll put on the dress
And battle through
With a mission nestled in my lap
Sooth Sooth Sooth
My scolded blurry type
I will open up the tender hate
I will take another bite